gravitas

the music is playing in my head

not jammed in there like a

track from an obscure

one hit wonder

but bouncing around inside

lightly,

airy

effortlessly

and it’s getting louder

every time she raises her voice

 

every word, every note

dripping with all the melodic sarcasm

the tonal wit

she composed in our symphony

while decomposing

us.

 

do you feel anything,

at all?

 

it’s this kind of codeine induced

warmth

some slight, goofy high that

regulates

any

normal

rational

thought

ushered away from the normal

course of action

that under

any other circumstance-

reflecting off of

any other complexion

would have long since

been

said and done.

 

do you believe in

made for each other?

soulmates?

 

just this once I want to

cut her with

my refrain

watch her bleed through

the fade out

and pray

the scar remains

to remind her

everything I am in her soul.

 

I waltz away

because walking is so …

and I pretend

she didn’t say anything

remotely

sounding like

I am not her

first choice

and that

leaving

losing

forgetting me

would be the easier option

 

nothing left but to burn it all down

flash fire searing

the fields of

all we ever were &

the acres of what we could have been

that I will monitor and watch it

char the prospect

the surface

in some sort of

self destructive

controlled burn

Nero for the ages,

rosining the bow and

plucking the strings

so she can have music lodged

in her head

too.