three small words

 

where in “I love you” lies the culmination;

the meaning of the words?

I love you is a sentence,

and love is the verb.

It an action word,

something that is supposed to summarize exactly what

“I” am doing to “you”.

I and you are simple…that’s me

and her

or she

and I

and so the only mystery that is left to unravel is

what about “love”?

Have we watered its meaning down through years of

bad relationships

and mistakes

and misconceptions about what

we really felt for someone

when clearly, in the end…

it wasn’t this verb, love.

Most of all I wonder

when you say it to me…

what does the verb mean…

what are you doing to me

when you love me like you love me.

It’s unconventional, no doubt

to tell a man you love him “…but…”

It’s an action word,

one syllable,

and none of the great poets before me have ever reconciled

how to keep it from doing what it is meant to do…

wordsmiths with a greater tenacity dealing with the subject

have never simply tried to undo that

which cannot be undone.

there is no “unloving” someone…

there is no way around the meaning of the action of the verb

its proactive.

sometimes reactive

but always active, never passive.

Certainly I can refrain from stating the obvious…

I can stop saying it…

but that won’t stop it from happening every time

I see the sunrise

and feel its heat on my face

the same heat like when I catch you stealing glances at me

or when I hear a song on the radio about how much

this man loves someone and he has tried to distill it down into 400 words and 3 and a half minutes of song

and I think “yeah…that’s me and her…”

It’s a spring day,

a blanket of winter’s snow…

it’s nicotine and heroin and

every kind of buzz you’ve ever known

most of all…

when you say it to me…

why is it that saying I love you comes so easily to the lover

but hearing “I love you” seems tied to stipulations

and doubts

and questions

and fears

and worries…

part of the action I take in love for you

is this trust, the belief

that when you say it to me you mean it, too

and you’re doing to me

exactly what I am doing to you.