Striving to earn grace

Brother I haven’t tried so hard before
And maybe that’s just me
Feigning dead again.
We have a bond that nothing can change
As the drummer taps on
Knocking on your secret haven
In ways I never could
And gravity squeals at me once more
Back down on the ground
Reinventing everything I took as truth
Looking for the photograph I should have taken
To remind myself
Of the good things
The things you said I could be
Because you believed like only
You could believe
Lord knows I didn’t
And can’t
And won’t
It’s false anyway
Half truths
In a universe you created to contain me in
A world where we could love
And no one else would know our truth
Otherwise you couldn’t walk away unharmed
And leave me behind to tend this garden
You planted here
Floating above my head
Only in my head
Only in my mind
Only in my dreams.