for Murphy.

I’ve been contemplating

what I have come to call Murphy’s Law.

how the world, my world, my life

continues to turn, continues to burn

all the while I stand in place

my space

and can do nothing more than watch it all blur by.

See, no matter what choices I make

for breakfast

or what to wear

or whether to take this elevator or wait for the next one to come so I can ride up alone;

no matter the choice

life is turning around somewhere else.

Someone else.

Her.

Phil Spector is taking a mugshot without his hair,

the one thing we all recognized him for now that Lovin’ Feeling is not his claim to fame.

How can I reconcile in my head

that while I sit here typing, tapping, thinking, trying to stay awake

someone I once had wrapped around me like ivy,

isn’t even registering my name?

Why does the world go so fast,

life last not close to long enough

and love leave us at the exact moment we need it most?

I call it Murphy’s Law

because it seems as if anything can go wrong it does…

but I wouldn’t even recognize right or wrong if it slapped me in the face

most times.

Murphy was a cat.

a lifeline for someone

(was it me? I don’t know anymore)

no, he was a cat

who belonged to a  girl

who once was a friend of mine and now lives in one of those circles

that cross paths with my orbit every once and a while

but whom I would only faintly recognize on a street, through a crowd,

and cause me to smile without even knowing why.

So in Bakersfield, or L.A., Or Edmonton, Or K.C. or Nowra…why do dreams

and people we care about

and cats

have to die?

in passing, do we even know what is passing before us?

the faint breeze of a memory

 touching us

before the memory is even made.

all of this reminds me that Murphy was pretty much anything and everything to all of us

and we didn’t even realize it.

the void is left

and the scars fully heal:

do they help make more sense of this nonsense or just confuse us all the more?

I’m contemplating Murphy,

(and I never even met him)

and this longing, this confusion…about stuff

make me miss him all the more.