violent blues

something breaks inside me and it all oozes out

hot flash

passion

bitter

anger.

It flows through me

this body not my own

and I’m lost in an act, on autopilot

out of control.

Looking at myself as if I were above me

I can’t recall the act

I can’t recall the motions

left hanging in the air like silence, like shock

I just walk away from myself.

Who was that man,

the one inside me

why won’t he go away?

Helplessness, redefining me

I sequester the act, unsuccessfully

like a juror who watched too much CNN.

The jury that convicts me

again and again, with every recollection

our love, outlined in chalk now,

passing away at my hands

and I cannot recall why.